So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
