Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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