It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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