He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
4 words: hood of his car
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
