so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
