that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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