Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Randomize
