he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
