They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
