the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
