Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
