You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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