i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
