piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
