Kiss
Puke
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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