mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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