omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize