he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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