After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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