They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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