PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
