i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
