i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
