Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
