we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
