I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
