what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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