the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
