OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
