I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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