you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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