Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
