no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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