I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize