She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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