Have you finally orgasmed yet?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
