I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
