I think I won the penis lottery.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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