We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize