Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
