My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
