He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
