and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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