My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize