i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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