i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
