They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
