Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
