I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
