Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
