Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
