"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
