I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
