bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The power of my boobs compel you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
