No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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